Joyriders From Outer Space #6

"Yeeeeee-Haaaaaaawwwwww!!!"

6x10 inches, oil on panel.  Available for purchase here.

Joyriders From Outer Space #5

Now they're going after rat rods.  Yesterday, they got Billy's A bucket.  It was last spotted seven states away, with a squadron of cop cars following it at top speed.  At least Billy knows how to build a motor.

5.9x5.9 inches, oil on panel.  Sold.

Aerial Weirdos Number Twelve

The clean, green, eco friendly solution to traffic congestion and rising fuel prices.

This is a brilliant idea.  It can be adapted to any road vehicle, and is cheaper than buying a whole new car.  The balloon has fewer moving parts than an internal combustion engine, which means much lower maintenance costs.  You don't even need tires, if you can tolerate a crunchy landing.  If you have a rare car, and can't find that important scarce transmission part, no problem.  And anyone who participates in hill climbs will have a huge advantage.  Take that, Prius!

6x9 inches, painted in oil.  Available for purchase here.

Marine Weirdos #9

It's Sea Monster Salvage And Repair to the rescue!

Painted in oil on a 6x12 panel.  Available on Daily Paintworks.

Surf Weirdos #2

I finally found a use for those nasty tacked on fins Lincoln used to ruin their car in '57.  Steering's a bit useless, though.


Painted in oil on a 6x10 inch panel.  Available for purchase on Daily Paintworks.

Marine Weirdos 7

"I don't remember seeing tentacles and bugeyes as options in the sales literature.  They must be aftermarket items."

Painted in oil on a 6x9 panel.  Available on Daily Paintworks.

Treehouse

This is the coolest treehouse on the planet.  'Nuff said.

8x8 inches, painted in oil on hardbord panel. 

Sold

Marine Weirdos #6

Is your diabolical engine of destruction run down, damaged, or in desperate need of routine  maintenance?  Is it making people soil themselves with laughter, rather than terror? Is your iron grip on civilized society slipping like a worn out clutch?  Call Sea Monster Salvage and Repair. They'll have your mechanical beast back on its tentacles in no time.

And they make house calls.

6x10 inches, painted in oil.  Available here.

Marine Weirdos 5

Choose Loch Ness Movers for all your overseas shipping needs.  Just make sure all your packages are watertight and fully insured against a possible impromptu sea monster battle or attempted apocalypse.



Painted in oil on an 8x8 panel.  Available for purchase here.

Joyrider From Outer Space 4!

"Where are these spinach colored spaghetti creatures coming from?  And how did they find the kill switch in my car?"

Beware of space aliens with lead tentacles.

Painted in oil on a 6x9 inch panel.  Available on Daily Paintworks.

Beached Weirdos #3

I went to the beach one day, and saw an old roadster that had got stuck in the sand. The driver kept revving the motor, trying to break free, but the back wheels just dug in deeper. The only thing that could be heard over the roar of the engine was the endless string of epic profanity spewing from the driver's mouth. It was pure blasphemous poetry. Even pirates and drunk construction workers were said to have blushed.

5.9 inches square, painted in oil.  Available for purchase here.

Surf Weirdos #1

Not sure how to describe this one, or even where the idea came from.  I'm sure I could have picked a more streamlined car for this idea, but would that make it less weird?  Is there a sliding scale for the "land vehicle being used as a surfboard" idea?  Would a 1960 Plymouth convertible with big fins riding the surf be less strange than a 1966 Dodge A100 van?  Or is it all the same once you decide to put a car in the ocean?

Painted in oil on a 8x8 panel.  Available at Daily Paintworks.

Aerial Weirdos #5 - The Dogfight

They met above the clouds in glorious battle.  Warriors in strange and deadly flying machines.  A moment of thunder, a flash of lightning, and one flew away home.  As opposed to the other, who just sort of plummeted to the ground and scattered their ruined flying craft over a wide area.

Painted in oil on a 6x12 panel.  Available for purchase here.

Marine Weirdos #4

No strange, mustachioed sea creatures were harmed in the making of this painting.  In fact, he probably gets better benefits than you.

8x8 inches, oil on panel.  Available on Daily Paintworks.

Bus Stop

It just seemed to be the best title, what with the yellow Travelall and the bikini clad driver.  I can hear Grampa now - "When I was your age..."

In unrelated news, I've started two  new Squidoo lenses.  One lens focuses on my oil painted weirdos, and the other spotlights my digital lomo experiments.  Here are the links if you want to go have a look.

A Squadron of Weirdos
Lomo-osity

Bus Stop is painted in oil on an 8x10 inch panel, and is available for purchase here.

Joyrider From Outer Space 3

Lately, more and more people have had their cars stolen by what they describe as "green spaghetti creatures".  These creatures target older vehicles, mostly mild fifties customs.  They are experts in hotwiring, and are able to circumvent nearly any alarm system or anti theft device made today.  Most of the cars are recovered one to three hundred miles away, though one was found in Antarctica, and another may have been spotted on the moon.

Keep an eye out, be aware, and protect yourself and your car from the spaghetti creatures.


Painted in oil on a 6x9 panel.  Available on Daily Paintworks.

Beached Weirdos #2

More suspicious doings at the beach.  Just what's going on out there?

6x6 inches, painted in oil on panel.  available for purchase at Daily Paintworks.

Aerial Weirdos #8

The exciting sequel to Aerial Weirdos #3!

After an extensive and expensive rebuild, Veronica is ready to try again to be the first woman to orbit the Earth in a truck cab.  Will she do it this time?  We'll find out in T minus eight minutes and counting.

This is a rare piece for me, as I don't do too many sequels.  Variations on a theme, sure, but it's not very often I revisit a particular story and do a "one month later" sort of thing.  The ideas are there, but they have to compete with the deluge of ideas and schemes in my head that I haven't explored yet, and usually get relegated to the back burner.  But this one just wouldn't give up.  I guess Veronica's too stubborn to get forgotten.

Maybe there will be a part three sometime.  Stay tuned.

Painted in oil on a 6x10 inch panel.  Sold.

Aerial Weirdos #4

Blue Oval Thunder.

Spitting in the face of gravity and other physical laws, and taking upcycling to a whole new level. 

The next step, of course, is to arm it.  Maybe a couple miniguns, some rockets, and heat seekers.  Heck, maybe we could install a 120 mm cannon from an Abrams tank!  Colonel Cochrane won't know what hit him.

6x6 inches, painted in oil on panel.  Available for purchase on Daily Paintworks.

Aerial Weirdos #10

The birth of a Weirdo.  From the wreck of an abandoned farm truck it rises into the air, like a Phoenix, to seek new adventures.

Painted in oil on an 8x10 panel.

Aerial Weirdos #9

"Get the burner lit!  The shotgun's just pissing it off!"

Will they escape the disembodied tentacles with nanoseconds to spare, or will the Econoline end up as Digested Weirdo #1?

8x8 inches painted in oil.  Available for purchase here.

Marine Weirdos #2

All dressed up for the Halloween party down at the coral reef.  Gonna scare the crap out of a lot of little fishies.

Painted in oil on a 6x9 inch panel.

Aerial Weirdos #6

Okay, this wasn't part of the flight plan...

So, let's get back to the hangar for some body work, and maybe a tune up.  I hope the fridge is stocked, cause it's going to take at least two cases of of beer to make this right.  And pizza.  Can't forget the pizza.

Painted in oil on a 6x14 masonite panel.  Available for purchase here.

Marine Weirdos #3 - The Decoy

"Dude, I think we're lost."

"Why don't you ask that mermaid for directions?"

"Oh, yeah. Good idea."

"Hey, do you hear that? Sounds like a giant sea monster just off the driver's side, preparing to swallow us whole and spit out the bones?"

"Yeah, kinda, now you mention it. Probably just a leaky muffler."

One of my favorites from the latest batch.

Painted in oil, 8x8 inches.

Marine Weirdos #1 - The Interloper

"What the heck is THAT??

I've never seen anything like it!  It doesn't look like the other metal beasts I've seen around here.  It seems kind of clunky and... leaky.  I'd better stay out of sight."

Introducing a brand new series that will make you question the very nature of the fabric of space, time, and internal combustion.  Or something similar.

Painted in oil on a 6x9 inch panel.  Available at Daily Paintworks.

Joyrider From Outer Space

They come from all over, from the farthest, darkest reaches of reality.  They all come here, to this little blue ball floating around a little yellow star.  And they come for one reason.  This little blue ball is the only place in the all of everywhere with 1957 Mercury convertibles.

I'm still trying to figure out what perverse mental alchemy produces ideas like this.  I'd be rich if I could bottle it.

6x9 inches, oil on panel.  Sold.

Beached Weirdos #1

Is this a simple case of finders keepers, or is there nefariousness involved?  Is "nefariousness" even a word?  The dude inside the truck may have the answers, but he is mysteriously silent on the subject.  The mermaid's not answering any questions, either.  So I guess we're just left with guesses and assumptions.

Painted in oil on a 5.9x5.9 inch panel.  This piece is available here.

Tiki God 2

Do not be fooled by the tiki's calm, relaxed demeanor. Look into those glowing red eyes and you'll know you are in serious trouble. The instant you cross the line, he'll toast you like a cheap bagel, then smash you into oblivion.

But just look at that car! Isn't that worth the risk?  Besides, you've got a machete, so what are you worried about?


13.5x28 inches, painted in watercolor.  Available for purchase at Daily Paintworks.

The Outcast

Cast out of the kingdom for crimes too hideous to mention here.

Seriously, it was a mess.  Blood, mayhem, betrayal, melodrama.  Now she makes a living as an auto mechanic during the day, and moonlights as a bartender.
When she has the evening off, she sits on top of her new home and looks out toward home, and curses every living thing in it from here to Japan.

Especially octopi.

Damn those octopi.

6x11 inches, painted in oil.

Sold.

Grandpa S.

He's old, arthritic, makes funny noises, and occasionally leaks.  He needs to be jump-started at the most inopportune times.  There was that time he had a breakdown in front of your friends at the beach.  And don't even get me started on the fire.  But it's Grandpa, dammit!  He's family. so just make some room in the garage and toss sawdust on the floor.  Because that's what family does.

Digital photo, lomo-ated in cactus juice and vacuum tube fluid.

The Prototype

There are a lot of merfolk who want to participate in the surface world's car culture, but many of them are unable to breathe air.  For them, we've developed the Self Contained Out of water Breathing Apparatus survival solution.  The durable and flexible exoskeleton is built to withstand heavy abuse and maintain the approptiate internal pressure for maximum comfort.  A sophisticated O2 exchange system keeps the internal water layer oxygenated, while a patented radiator grid in the fin keeps it cool, even under the blistering desert sun.  UV rated eyepieces are adjustable and can be ordered with night vision and IR packages for deep, dark water car enthusiasts.

10x19.5 inches, painted in watercolor (what else?).  Available here.  The painting, not the suit.

Finders Keepers 7

This is the seventh piece in the FK series, and the first one that doesn't feature a mermaid (if you count the girl in FK6 as a mermaid; opinion is split on that issue).

It's a bit of a strange piece, really.  I just put two drawings from other projects together, added some floating rocks and Voila, painting.  The basic story is pretty much the same as in all the other FK paintings; girl finds unattended truck, girl claims truck as her own, unseen owner is confused at the absurd image of a mermaid or blindfolded angel making off with what was his truck.  Of course, in FK6 the booty was a Cadillac ambulance, and FK9 features an Airstream trailer.

What madness will FK10 reveal? Do tentacles play a role?  Stay tuned.

14x21 inches, painted in Glorious Watercolor.

(Insert copyright notice and threats of disembowelment here.)

The Low Power Wagon, In Glorious Color!

The color version of this post.  The idea is that this is a barn find, discovered after about two decades under a leaky roof.  After being extricated from beneath a pile of gunny sacks, the truck is simply cleaned, polished, and given a mechanical once over.  No new paint or other cosmetic work.  Not sure if you could match that color, anyway.  It was a custom mix, and no one can find the original recipe.

Of course, the question remains; is it possible to do this to a four wheel drive Power Wagon and keep it four wheel drive?  If it is, it would be awesome.

Painted in watercolor, 10x21 inches.

Tiki God

The Challenge - One on one combat with an infantile stone Tiki God that fights dirty.  He kicks and bites, it's ugly.  No class at all.

The Prize - One hot 1957 Chevrolet pickup in Baby Blue. Well worth the danger, I think. Besides, she's got a big knife, so I think she'll be okay.  And then, on to Tiki God 2, where there's a '39 Dodge to be had.

11x26, painted in watercolor.  Contact me for purchase info.

Monster Truck Monster

Submitted this week to the Threadless.com "weird" challenge.

It started as a 1936 Ford Dearborn cab-over conversion, but quickly morphed into something else, something...  otherworldly. Something that ate hitchhikers with the cool nonchalance of a one legged seagull eating cold french fries in a Utility Burger parking lot. The world shall tremble at the tentacled terror called Monster Truck Monster!  Coming to a T-shirt near you, I hope.

Voting for this design may be accomplished here, if you are so inclined.

Began as a pencil sketch, finished in Photoshop.

Burger Break

"What's for dinner?" 

"Fish.  AGAIN!!" 

 It's another day of the same old, and it's enough already.  You need something new and different before you go mad   So climb out of the ocean, swipe yourself a Chevy wagon, and drive to the nearest Utility Burger for the Heart Stopper Value Pack, with Bonus Fries and an Atomic Chocolate Shake.

Because even lobster can suck if it's all you ever eat.

Painted in watercolor, 9x23 inches.  Contact me for purchase info.

The Low Power Wagon

Another low riding, completely impractical, and maybe impossible 4WD hot rod pickup. 

As with the first Impossible, the important part of this build is to get the body to scrape the pavement, while preserving the four wheel drive system.  The fact that the body has been sectioned compounds the problem, as there is now less space inside the sheetmetal in which to cram all the workings.  What do you do?  Relocate the engine to the bed, or the passenger seat?  You'd have to re-engineer the front wheel driveline.  Smaller engine?  Why bother?  What's the point of a Power Wagon without the power?

Can it be done in the real world, or is it doomed to be only a screwball idea on watercolor paper?

Clearing The Cylinders

It's that miraculous barn find you always hear about. A local drag strip warrior from way back, discovered under a chicken crap encrusted tarp in a shed two blocks away. And it looks like it's all there, too. How awesome is that?

After a few hours of haggling, it's extricated from between the tractor carcass and the rusty bedsprings, and the process of resuscitation begins. Sure, it's a bit smoky, but what do you expect after six seasons of hard racing and fifty years in storage? The fact that the engine is even there to be fired up is nothing short of amazing.

13.5x21 inches, painted in watercolor.

Aerial Weirdos #3 - Crash

"Veronica Maeus was nearly the first person to put a Dodge truck cab in orbit this morning. Unfortunately, engine trouble forced her to abort the attempt and crash land her vehicle in the Arizona desert. She's announced she fully intends to try again once she's hammered the bugs out of the injection system."

I have a sequel on the drawing board.  Stay tuned.

5.75 inches square, painted in oil.  Sold.

Finders Keepers 9

"An Airstream is the perfect vacation home.  It's spacious, stylish, mobile, and best of all, shiny.   This one's even better.  It was free.  Well, when I say free, I mean stolen.  She found it, she kept it.  And she kept the cowboy hat she found inside, too.  Cowboy hats are cool."

This is the first piece in the FK series featuring a travel trailer.  It's also the first piece in the series done in oil. Curiously, it's the second piece in the FK series to feature a cowboy hat.

6x12 inches, painted on masonite panel.  Sold.